Me Myself And I

i am at work. this is where i usually am whenever i blog. i take a break from it all and blog. i am sick and i dont feel like working, thank god tuleen has spring break this week and i have arranged to work at home for the second half of the day for the whole week.  i am so tired and my head is aching me- to top it all off i hit my head against the wall while tidying up my office  my ’square’- its a bit bigger than a cubicle.  we have  a meeting now so this is all i have to say for today. not much.. oh i lost my voice!!

its friday and cloudy and i dont feel like working! one more hour and im out!

i am so fucking happy that i have a job, thats all for me. that is mine, that is my accomplishment, that is my contribution, that is my tiredness, my work, my coworkers, my friend. no matter how tired you get mona- remember that all this is yours, that you did this, that you got this job with your persistence. that when ayman acts like a psycho and slams the phone in your face (and you embarassingly say into the phone to the sound of the dial tone after he hangs up- ok thats good. talk to you later. bye. ) that you can smile, compose yourself and go to your meeting and completely forget about his stupidness. i will keep working no matter what! because i cannot be a woman who’s life revolves around her husband and his mood and his actions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been a week since sito died. u remember the small things.. the last time i saw her we were leaving to the airport and we were saying our good byes. she was in the kitchen telling me to eat, it was ramadan and she was telling me not to fast while travelling, and i didnt fast that day. so we said good bye and we went downstairs, while we were waiting for the car to come around we saw sito being pushed in her wheelchair by the maid. she wanted to say good bye one last time because she said she dont know if she will ever see us again. i remember her saying that. and giving tuleen some more kisses. and we crossed the street and got in the car and she sat in her wheelchair on the sidewalk and waved goodbye. until we couldnt see her anymore and she couldnt see us.

allah yirhamik sito.