Me Myself And I

diet day four.. and im still on it. ive gotten used to it now, this will teach me to stop off at mac donalds everyday after and get fries and a big mac!! changes are going to be made after this diet in our lifestyles. i also gave into cigarrettes.. i opened one of his packs that i will replace today. everyone knows everyone here, i have to find an inconpicuous place to buy some from and this IS THE LAST TIME! i really hate smoking, well i dont,  but its unhealthy and a waste of time and money so i need to just stop, and plus doing things behind his back makes me feel real guilty.

also a comment on yesterdays post. we really are living in a new digital world. i was watching episodes of lipstick jungle online and a commercial for the ‘take a bite out crime’ initiative had a stop cyber bullying tag line.. so now i have to worry about my kids being bullyed in school and online! times have changed….

diet day three and going strong, i say this now because its only 9:15  in the morning and i’ve just had breakfast and a sip of my coffee. im at work checking the emails and reading the news when an article caught my attention and ive actually been meaning to blog about it for some now because the same thoughts in the article are actually things that ive come across and things that ive thought of. Too many online friends?

  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/29/fashion/29facebook.html?partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

there are so many friends that i want to delete from my list its not even funny. by the way, all i have is like 50 friends! i want it to go back to 15!  the only people i would keep are a few, u know the ppl i actually talk to! but i got all these invitations from ppl i knew in highschool and i felt kind of bad for not accepting their invitation so i did. i must admit that i also wanted my current friends to know that hey! i know lots of ppl too you know! youre not the only one with 150+ friends! but the truth is, i can delete them all and just keep the family and a couple of other friends i consider close now even though i did add those friends to my limited profile, i just.. it just doesnt feel comfortable to have them on my list. for example i wanted to browse the photos that my ‘friends’ had and came across an album of a girl i went to highschool, who really isnt a friend- more like someone i told hi and bye too when i saw her- and there was her picture on the cover of her album all sprawled out on the beach.. i really dont want to see this, dont need to see this..

we’re at this new age of time and along with this new age comes new ways of dealing with ppl and society as a whole-  digital etiquette i call it. how are you supposed to go about deleteing friends? that whopper bit in the article is hillarious. what i did notice on some friends of friends was that you couldnt select their name to even add them as a friend, i went through my privacy settings and was as diligent as can be but this was not something i came across, i wish i had though. i really am a private person is there something so wrong with that in todays world! does everyone i know have to know what i do.. and oh my god is that annoying in facebook! status updates!!! X is watching tv… well actaully X is not watching X’s mind is somewhere else and this caused X to write a status update to facebook. now i really am not being critical of ppl who like facebook but i really guess its not for me and i guess tonight i will have to go thru the process of updating my list. no matter what im afraid ppl will think. but you know what everyone has like 500 friends anyway im sure they wont notice that i deleted them and maybe, like the article suggests, theyll get the hint that im trying to limit it to closer people.

in any case, digital etiquette is something were going to have to learn as it comes along. there is no handbook on it for now-well u know there might be one i just never came across one. i guess the advantage that we have with this new digital age is that we can take all the time we need to think about our actions before we actually do something in cyberspace- before we press that accept button, or click that send email button, or text our friends we really have the advantage of actually taking the time to think about what consequences our actions will have… and thats what ill have to learn to do, just like how i learned (and still am) that you cant just blurt out what you want to ppl- you have to think about what youre going to say, with cyber space we actually have more time to do that than face to face with a person.

and so we shall see what will become of the few ppl that i have to remove that im make such a big deal of !

i did it! i completed the first day of my 12 day diet, believe me at the end of the day it was hard. and GOD i wanted a cigarette but i didnt take one, not because i didnt really,really want one, but i just didnt want to have yet another argument about fucking cigarettes- hypocrite! and u know they really are bad for me… so i may as well try to quit now…..  but i managed to get through ok.. and tomorrow is day two! resolutions are under way!

mama thinks im so lucky because i dont have anything to worry about. today she seemed so depressed when i talked to her, she was worried about ali and baba with his new scan to take and ali’s relationship with baba and hayatt and her dress that she has to buy by friday and just everything. and then she asks me whats new with me and ofcourse, as i always say, nothing is up- everything is relatively the same. and so she asked me if i was worried about anything or thinking of anything and so i told her no. and she says your so lucky. what she doesnt realize is i am always worrying about everything too, about the same exact things she worries about and more, about my wants and needs, my work, my family, the future, the family, and about her- always and forever about her.

since i last wrote in november the things that stand out the most: started potty training tuleen and almost there, a little better at work and what i do there- getting a little more confident and i think i like it more when shit works, 1,200+ palestinians were massacred in gaza,  its a new year, i subscribed to wire and vanity fair (as opposed to inStyle of last year) and we got a new president this week.. oh yeah and im trying to diet, which blows!!!

i guess i can talk about new years resolutions now being that its a new year.. well its not really new anymore but its still january so if theres a time i can stop and evaluate myself i guess its now. and the list is as follows                                    -stop procrastinating – as usual that is my LIFE resolution, -be a little more patient, with tuleen and as hard as it is with ayman too -try to advance myself at work, whatever that means -and for yucks even though i know this will never happen, finally stand up to my father and tell him what i think about him OR maybe i should try to figure out what i think and feel about him before i actually talk to him about it. – try to be more religous and spiritual

and now i must go.. oh yeah another resolution.. blog more one day ill appreciate it and maybe someone else will benefit from it, like tuleen.