Me Myself And I

i havent written in a while, hayatt reminded me of this today cuz i told her about my blog. so my update,

ramadan is going ok till now, i am keeping up with the fasting with not too much problems. everything is still boring here as usual. routine is a killer but what can we do… we have to deal with it till better things come along. hopefully this baby will bring some sort of positive change in our home. im at four and a half months now and all is good. in about two weeks ill find out if its a boy or a girl and i cant wait!! i really dont care what it is at this point, i just want a healthy baby. after u see all those birth stories on discovery channel or tlc thats all u can hope and long for. well thats all i really have to say for now. its almost time to leave work finally!!!!! i have been browsing the internet for the whole day because i finished an assignment and wasnt reassigned something else. ill pray asr and then by that time itll be time to head off home!!!

later days………..

oh yeah hayatt and i were talkin about how i always liked to write rather than talk and she reminded me of how when i was in jr high and highschool and i would get upset. i would lock myself in the bathroom and write down what was wrong with me or what i was feeling and then crumble the paper and throw it in the garbage.  she also told me something i didnt know, which is that she would go in the bathroom and look in the garbage for my writing and read it!!!! she was real young at the time 10 or 12. if only i had kept those crumbled papers, i would love to read what was consuming my small life at the time!! well i thought that was a memory worth writing down for record, one day ill read this all and smile:)

today when i went to kmart for some vitamins everyone was super nice to me… weird! as soon as i got out of the car a woman offered her me cart, i told her no thanks and went on my way towards the door. she replied back with a smile, ur welcome. when i was heading toward a door an employee was dragging a line of carts, stopped in the middle of the road and let me pass with a good afternoon greeting. when i entered the store another employee greeted me with a huge smile and a good afternoon.

i found it so weird that everyone was so pleasant to me. it should always be like this. usually ppl pass u by and dont even notice u, everyone is always consumed by their own thoughts and problems but today for a few minutes it was different. and i liked it!

i smiled as i walked into the store thinking what is wrong with everyone today :S but, it put me in a good mood for the rest of the day..

pulled by each arm and torn in half

not knowing the meaning of what i want

i scream and no one hears me

i follow the perceived image of myself

dragging behind, wanting to stray away

contentment is not happiness